I Am Ready

On the cusp
of what you have known
and all that stands before you
In the space of the hands and hearts
that have held you with love and tenderness
At the intersection of your greatest tragedies
and deepest triumphs
In the moments of sublime bliss
Steeped in layers of melancholy and stagnation
Lies the courage of your heart
the seed that She has planted
for you

Tiny tendrils breaking their way free
digging and traversing in the soil of the Nile
suckling at the fertility of the darkness
drinking in the nourishment of divine

There comes a moment
when those tender tenuous roots
break through the ground
when those shoots and leaves find the light of day
There comes a moment
when the cool air strikes upon the fresh green life
And I wonder
in that moment
if there is hesitation at this new experience of life

Grief at growing towards the sun s
wishes to remain safely ensconced
in the darkness of the great earth mother's womb
Desire to be embraced only by what is known
even through the romance of what is yet to come
The rich breaths of this very moment
tickling the senses
filling the soul

I wonder if that plant spirit
hesitates
as I do
for one last second
Before breaking through into the light
stretching heaven-bound
in graceful lines and complete joy

I wonder if that plant spirit knows
that life is so very fragile
on the other side
that the winds may whip
the rains may swell
and that she will be asked to trust
in the strength of her roots
the knowingness of her heart
and the wisdom of Divine
to flow through her
Grow her
Grant her life in each moment

I ask myself this
as I stretch my hands and heart
towards the fire
as I sweep the soil from my shoulders
as I tenderly lift and sift my feet from the blackened soil
as I pause
and remember
from where I came
and to where I will return
with a finite number of breaths
between these moments

I pause
and give thanks
to all that has nurtured
all that has held
all that has strengthened
all that has swelled
to meet me in this moment
to release me towards the sun
to whisper their love
to lace my heart with their wisdom

You are ready
they say
I am ready
I know

And so I raise myself towards the sun
my feet walking prayers upon the womb from which I came
an umbilical cord to divine
always to be found within

(c) 2015 Melissa Rudder